Herein lies my problem: I expect too much. I shouldn’t expect anything. Out of anyone.

One thing that I’m noticing about myself is that I have a very strong sense of right and wrong. And I tend to view the world as it “should be” rather than how it really is. This usually leads to disappointment on my end. So I’ve been struggling with the balance of learning not to expect people to be as they should and still knowing that there is some sort of “black and white” to the world.

Looking at the world in black and white is probably not the best idea either. I’ve always been very upfront – you’re either this or you’re that. Nothing in between. But I think that idea doesn’t give people the chance to be complicated, and if there is anything most people are, it’s complicated.

So I find myself back where I always start. It’s sort of frustrating to me that I just can’t get it. I want very badly to just accept people for exactly who they are. And when “who they are” causes me pain or disappoints me, it sends me into this confusing spiral of trying to make sense of it all, feeling like I have been terribly let down and feeling like I shouldn’t have wanted anything from them in the first place.

I tend to look for reliability, trust, support, acceptance and respect in my relationships. It doesn’t seem like that should be too much to expect, but in reality it’s way too much. I try my very best to live up to my own standards, but even I can’t meet them all the time.

I hate being flawed.

I hate making myself miserable with disappointment.

And what I really hate the most is that I just can’t find the switch that turns me into someone who is never disappointed because I’m someone who never expects anything.

Forgot to tell you earlier, but there’s a big super bowl sale at Tangle. It’s only 3 hours starting at noon MST.

I finished up this tunic a couple weeks ago. I knit it with Eden in mind, but it’s more likely that she will wear it next year.

Stats
Pattern: Knitting Pure and Simple #232
Yarn: GGH Samoa in Barbie Pink and Lemongrass
Mods: none, just forgot to add in the button hole and the gauge wasn’t quite on.

I’m now about a quarter of the way done with this:

And next I want to knit this from the same issue of Knitscene:

And then these two from the brand new issue of Rowan (43) – sigh, I’m so happy we carry Rowan at Tangle now!!

Finally this from the new Interweave (that’s not even here yet, but still…)

mmmm, silk.

How long do you think it all will take me?

Making Stuff for Kids is black dog publishing’s follow up to their book Making Stuff. It’s full of crafty projects for kids ranging from very easy to slightly difficult. Nearly every kid’s craft medium is explored from projects like pompom monsters to sparkly play dough to finger knitting to costume making to simple wood working. I had Eden sit down with the book and she wanted to make everything in it.

Things that caught my eye were wall decals made from contact paper, painted stone bugs and knitted bean bag critters. I also really enjoyed the child’s drawing transfered to an embroidery pattern. Perhaps the best part of the book is the division by age. Having small kids, I tend to have a hard time finding crafts that are age appropriate for them. It’s nice to have projects at their level all in one place.

Overall, I thought the book was a good one for kids. Many of the projects included were a fresh take on classic kids projects and the instructions were clear and easy to read. And I know that it’s one that we will be using at our house.

Monday
Shredded beef tacos and spanish rice

Tuesday
Chicken enchiladas

Wednesday
Spinach linguine with broccoli and turkey ham

Thursday
Chicken Curry

Friday
out for sushi!

Saturday
pasta salad with roasted broccoli and red peppers

Sunday
Steak and baked potatoes

Yarn ball flowers

I want this amazing room

and dern it, now we have to order the dk weight of comfort

and it’s time to start crocheting more

Mary Jane slipper pattern

“Robots don’t go potty.”

“How do you know?”

“‘Cause they don’t have butts!”

• The hard drive on my ibook went out. Jim worked very hard on getting it back up and running – thanks Jim! Now I’m running mac os 10.5 and it’s pretty dern nice. How long do you think it will take me to fill up a 130 gig hard drive? And it’s good to have my internet back, I was having major withdrawals.

• The other day I walked into the dining room to find Honor struggling to remove a large ziploc from his HEAD. I nearly had a heart attack and I think that I scared the pee out of him by telling him that he could die if he ever, ever did that again.

• Just cast on this hoodie last night. I’m using a single strand of BSA cotton on 9’s rather than a double strand of DK weight yarn on 6’s (which makes no sense to me at all anyway.) I’m not sure if it will look good on me, but I guess we’ll find out. It’s cute anyway.

I spent Friday adding new patterns to Tangle’s website. There’s a few that I just moved over from this site and a few new ones.

This shawl is one that I knit last month. For as simple as it is to knit, it makes a big impact.

(my mom modeling)

And a basic rolled brim hat pattern.

All of Tangle’s original patterns are here, most of which are free!

He needs a haircut.

BTW, Honor’s latest threat is that he will give you a knuckle sandwich if you’re not doing what he likes – complete with balled up fist and ornery (Honor-y) look. His latest term of endearment is to call us a “chicken peep.”