Here are some of the things I’ve been making these last few weeks:

Truffles we made for Amy’s party

Chocolate covered pretzels and the rest of the goodies from Amy’s party

Homemade jalapeño poppers for Amy’s party

Antipasto Skewers for Amy’s party

weenie shaped marshmallows

chocolate, almond, coconut cookies

pecan brittle and candy cane cookies

Yesterday, after school, I took the kids to Target, gave them each 20 bucks with instructions to purchase gifts for me and each other, and turned them loose. They zipped through the store, very excited, and turned up at the cash registers to purchase their gifts, handing me back the leftover change. When we got home they locked themselves in their rooms to wrap their purchases.

Honor’s looked like this:

So cute…
I’m so interested to see what they bought!

I’ve gone back and forth over if we would do stockings this year, but finally decided that we couldn’t pass up the fun. When I started thinking about having the children purchase gifts for the other members of our family, I decided that, yes, we were going to do stockings. I feel like it’s so important for them to realize that it’s not just about what they get, but about loving other people by giving them gifts too. And I want to teach them to be really intentional and thoughtful about the gifts they give.

Target shopping day will definitely be a tradition we keep up every year.

I’ve been in crazy crafting mode in my spare time. I’ve been helping my friend Amy make treats for her Christmas party, plus making gifts and treats to give. Here are a few that I’ve been working on:

PJ pants for the twinzies. They turn two next week, can’t believe it…

The pattern is KWIK SEW and the fabric is new at Tangle by David Walker. Can I just say that I LOVE kiwk sew patterns? They are so easy!

Peanut Butter Pretzels

Um, love these! They might be my favorite thing we’ve made so far! If you melt half a bar of gulf wax into the chocolate it stays nice and glossy.

Peanut Butter Balls

I’ve noticed that at Christmas time there are a lot of balls involved. I can’t tell you how many balls I’ve made… meatballs, truffles, peanut butter balls… just saying…

Candy Cane Cookies

LOVE THESE. My mom has made these every year since I can remember. So good.

There has been a lot more so more to come…

Gosh, things have been so busy for me lately… I’ve had lots to say and no time to say it!

I’ve been really busy with a new project. I started helping my church launch a free clinic and it turned into a part-time (volunteer) job. I’m now the administrator of the clinic! I know it seems crazy, but I’m loving it. I feel so strongly that health care is a human right (rather than a privilege) so working on the clinic falls right in line with those beliefs.

On top of that, it’s retail-crazy-time at Tangle, which I’m also loving! I love that my job is to buy yarn and fabric all day.

In the little spare time I’ve been finding myself with, I’ve been busy making gifts and treats. I’m still unsure as to what our family traditions surrounding Christmas will be. I was raised celebrating (and loving) Christmas. But never really celebrated it those 12 years I was married to Jim. In those 12 years I saw the reasoning and maybe value(?) in Jim’s beliefs surrounding the holiday. But I’ve also seen how it’s kept us from loving our friends and family in the ways they receive love. My friend Amy has an epic Christmas party every year and I’ve missed out on it. And I’ve missed out on showing her how much I love her by attending.

This year I’m faced with making new traditions for my family and I’m kind of at a loss. It’s times like this that I really feel my single-mom-ness. It’s hard to be the leader of a family when it’s a job meant for two. So this year we’re easing into Christmas. I’m trying to find my way and decide what our traditions will be. I’m trying to decide what I really think and feel and believe about the holiday so I can pass that along to my children.

I love presents. I love getting them and giving them and I love that this is a time of year to really show our loved ones that we love them by gifting them with something thoughtful. But I also hate how consumeristic it is (says the owner of a retail store). My kids are only getting one gift this year because they don’t need anything. They already have so much that they aren’t thankful for.

So I guess that’s the start of a tradition – one gift each… Showing our friends and family that we love them by participating with them… Buying gifts for those that are less fortunate… I guess we really are easing our way in. And I guess that’s they way I have to do it – the only way I know how.

On Thanksgiving we had pie for breakfast with the roomates (um, why is this the first year we’re starting this tradition?) Then went on a hike with the roomates and my mom. And then went to my Aunt’s for a delicious dinner with my cousins where I shoved my cousin into a corner and forced her to learn how to knit. I think a good time was had by all.

the children came up with this pose on their own

I’m so thankful to live in such a beautiful place.

Eden with my cousin’s new puppy.

More pics at flickr.

Today I am abundantly thankful for our ability to change. (Thanks Carrie for giving my thankfulness words today.) I’m so thankful for the desire to live a better life, to be a better person. I’m thankful that God created us to grow, learn, change, adapt – that where we find ourselves today can always be different tomorrow.

Last Thanksgiving I had scheduled an appointment with a therapist and was so hopeful for the change that I knew therapy would bring about. The changes that happened were entirely different than the ones I expected to happen, but I think that was part of the lesson I’ve had to learn: patience and learning to let go of expectations.

Five years ago yesterday my life completely changed, I just didn’t know yet. I was driving home through the mountains scared, hurt and totally drained. I’d gone over to the front range to try and help a family member, and everything fell apart (including me). I remember driving as fast as I could to get home because with my family was the only place I knew I was safe. Little did I know someone was making a choice in that very moment that would set the course for the rest of my life.

The day before Thanksgiving will always be a bit of a sad memory for me. But also a memory I will always cling to. Because I know that I lived through that day. I know that I lived through the choices made that day and the events that were set into motion as a result. I know that I can change. I know that whatever crisis may come in my life (whether real or self-inflicted) I can make it through. Therapy gave me the skills to make it through. God gave me the strength and the ability.

I am so thankful that I made it here, eyes wide open, ready to change and learn and grow.

I’d kind of forgotten what it was like to live with someone… to have that constant companionship, constant feedback. Now that Carrie and Seth have been living with me for a consistent month, I’m starting to come alive in different ways. I am such a social person and even though I finally learned to be alone and really be ok with it, it is so good for me to be surrounded by a community. It’s so good for the kids too.

Earlier this week our neighbors opened up to us about something going on in their lives. As she told us their heartbreaking story, her voice broke and tears came to her eyes. And tears immediately came to my eyes too. There is something so significant about moments of vulnerability, when someone lets you into their pain, or their joy. When you’re vulnerable with someone you open up your heart to them and in turn give them a chance to open up their heart to you. When someone is vulnerable with you, it connects your heart in unexplainable ways and you start to see them differently. I think vulnerability is the only way to have real, deep relationships. The situation turned completely around for our neighbors and yesterday they were able to tell us their happy news, again bringing us all to tears.

The lesson that I’m learning is that more than anything, we were made to live in community. We were made to share in people’s heartaches and celebrations. We aren’t islands. Life is about mourning and dancing and so many times we are doing both at the same time. And that means that life can be really messy. I am eternally thankful for the friends who have walked with me through my mourning, who loved me when my life was such a beautiful mess…the friends who celebrated with me a month ago when a new chapter in my life began. I’m thankful that I’ve been learning to open my heart up and let people see my pain because that has connected me to them in amazing ways. I know now that this is the only way I can do relationships – everything else is a counterfeit to the real thing. It’s so hard to open yourself up and make yourself vulnerable. But it’s always, always worth the risk. Living in community is always worth the risk.

1 Tbs olive oil
1 medium yellow onion chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 green bell pepper, seeds and ribs removed, chopped
3 cups cooked, shredded chicken
1/2-1 cup diced, roasted green chiles (I use roasted green chiles that purchased from my local farmers market and froze, but canned would work well too.)
1 tbs ground cumin
1 tsp oregano
5 cups chicken stock
2 cans canellini beans, drained and rinsed
3 tbs corn meal
1 cup cilantro, chopped for garnish

(Notes: *I’ve found each pack of green chiles from the market to be varying in spiciness, so I add in a little at a time until I’m happy with the overall flavor of the soup. *A rotisserie chicken is a great, easy way to get cooked chicken. I like to buy them a day old from the grocery store already chilled. But you can also buy them hot ahead of time and chill them. I think it’s easier to shred when they’re chilled and easier to dispose of the fat that lies between the skin and meat. *1 can of white or yellow hominy, rinsed and drained would also be a fantastic addition to the chili.)

Heat olive oil over medium heat and saute onions until soft, about 5 minutes. Add garlic and bell peppers and cook for 30 seconds. Add cumin and cook 30 seconds more, stirring constantly. Stir in chicken stock, 2 cups water, chicken, green chiles, oregano, beans and corn meal. Bring to a boil and simmer for 10-15 minutes so flavors combine. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Serve topped with a sprinkling of cilantro.

Queen of themes, Carrie, decided that it would be fun to have a progressive dinner for this year’s Halloween costume party. So we assigned courses to all of our friends and went to work planning our meal. We were in charge of the main course so we went with Chicken with Forty Cloves of Garlic and braised greens. Both of which were really amazing. Because we were only in charge of making one course rather than a whole meal, we wanted to make it special.

The whole week leading up to the party we worked on decor and place settings. We set the table with my ever-expanding collection of mismatched china, white linens and glittery leaves as our place cards. Our glittery pumpkins were spread out across the middle of the table with red leaves sprinkled all over that were sneakily borrowed from our neighbors tree.

To see the whole set of photos from the dinner party, click here.

Carrie’s version of the story is here.

Seth and Carrie (aka my housemates) host a pumpkin carving party every year so, this year, the party was at my house. Carrie made her famous spicy chili and we had cornbread, salad, homemade pumpkin pies, apple cider and homemade eggnog. Just before the party there was a slight mishap with one of the pies – the cat and dog colluded and the cat knocked the pie off the table so they could eat all of the crust (guess they don’t like pumpkin). So after shipping the dog off to grandma’s house, and fetching a pie from the store, we were ready to party.

Carrie cleared the rugs out of the living room and put down plastic table cloths so when we were finished, clean up was really easy. Everyone brought their own pumpkins and Carrie provided the tools. She has amassed quite a collection from her years of pumpkin carving parties.

The kids did so great, they carved their pumpkins all by their selves. And sat for hours working on them. Their creativity cracks me up!

I love the pictures Seth got of my house at night:

And I’m amazed at what kind of photos his camera takes – I took this one:

(To glitter pumpkins, use a foam brush and apply a thin coat of glue, we used modge podge, but elmers would work perfectly. Then sprinkle on a thick coat of fine glitter.)

I had to take a break from carving to do a little knitting… of course.

To see the whole set of photos, click here.

Read Carrie’s version of the story here.

This number one question I get now that I’m divorced is if we are going to start celebrating all the holidays that we used to skip. I know Halloween was a strange one to start with, but we have had so much fun doing all the fall activities that we have missed out on all these years. I’m still not sure how I fit the pagan roots of the holiday in with our spiritual beliefs, but for now, I’m just taking this as a really fun time with friends and a chance to feel so much freedom – a chance to make my own decisions for my life and do whatever I want. And for that I am thankful.