I’ve come to believe that if God is in the business of anything, it’s the business of making all things new. I’ve seen him take what was broken and bad and turn it into something whole and good. I think that’s his primary business. That’s what he does for all of us.

Yesterday I got the opportunity to share my story with the church I attend. I’ve been telling the story for a while, in bits and pieces, though my blog and even twitter, but I’m pretty excited to get to tell the whole thing. I’m so thankful to be here, now. Looking back. Seeing how bad things were and now how good they are. Redemption is real. I’m so grateful.

I have several posts started about recent milestones in my life. I turned 32 last month, Honor turned 10 and I saw the 2 year anniversary of my divorce come and go. Possibly the most important milestone of them all has been 1 year of knowing Josh, which happened yesterday. There are so many ways that I can’t believe a year has passed. And then other ways that this year has seemed stretch out more than others. It’s been a hard but good year for me, full of personal growth that hasn’t always come easily.

I didn’t realize the work it would take to learn to trust again. Josh has had to prove himself to me in ways that haven’t been very fair to him, but so necessary for me. I’m so very thankful for how IN IT he has been with me, so patient and so present. We took a few minutes yesterday to reflect on the last year, each trying to name our favorite moments, shining memories from the past year. There are really too many to mention, but when I think about Josh, I think about his unwavering love and patience for me. I think about how much fun we’ve had and how perfectly we fit together. He’s something I’ve always wished for, but never really believed I could have. He tells me he loves me and I tell him how weird it is for me because I’m so not used to it. It’s taken me nearly a year to believe that I actually HAVE this amazing relationship, everything I’ve always wanted. I feel so lucky.

Super Serious photo by Seth.

Us, on my birthday, during a flash flood at the Lumineers concert at Red Rocks.

Honor on his 10th birthday

I ran the clinic today. I got to watch 18 volunteers pour themselves into 30 patients who gratefully took their much-needed help. That got to happen because I get to do my job facilitating the clinic. The system is so broken and I get to be a tiny part of the answer. So thankful.

Josh has been out of town on a business trip and is traveling home today. I’ve had some extra time to think about him and our relationship. Everything with him is just so perfectly uncomplicated. If ever I thought God knew what he was doing, it’s when I look at the people he put in my life. So thankful.

I went to my family reunion last weekend. I was laying in bed in my grandma’s basement, my face buried in the pillows, headphones in to block out the sound of the early-rising twinzies and God started talking to me. Ironically I skipped church so he could keep talking to me. He talked to me about being brave and being rescued. He reminded me that HE is the one who is rescuing me, not Josh or anyone else. That feels like such a relief. I got to talk to my uncle about being myself when being myself isn’t always allowed. It was exactly what I needed. I continue to realize: I’m being taken care of… I’m getting exactly what I need. So thankful.

This summer has been so perfect. The ocean and Disneyland, rafting, camping, hours in the car, friends and beers around the makeshift campfire (a citronella torch set inside the firepit). Tomatoes right off the vine, Olathe sweet corn and every meal simple and grilled. Dirty feet, tan lines, popsicles and noses pink from the sun. So thankful.

Memorial Day is the day that Brian joined our community last year. I remember this because we invited him over as we all sat up on the roof watching the Juco fireworks. This year, on Memorial Day, baby Elliott joined our community. He came after 28 difficult hours of labor, making his entrance as his mother always does – fashionably late. I was honored and lucky to get to be with Seth and Carrie at the hospital while she labored and delivered. Carrie was a rockstar, laboring WAY longer that I ever had to.

Carrie and Seth keep talking about how great I was during her labor. But I did what they would have done for me. I was just there. And I helped however I could. (And really, I think it’s because I finally said, after 24 hours of labor, “I think you should get an epidural.”) The thing is, that’s what it means to be family, staying up all night if we have to, to get through whatever comes.

Together.

I can’t imagine Elliott coming into the world without me, just as I can’t imagine going through my divorce without Carrie. We’re so lucky to have each other.

That’s what these last few months have been showing me: Family doesn’t have to be blood and I have LOTS of family who would be there for me as much as I would be there for them (which is always). I have all of the things that I’ve longed for all of my life, they just look a little different than I thought they would.

Welcome to the world, baby Elliott. You’ve got a great, big family who’s so excited to know you.

Elliott was a whopping 8lbs! We can’t believe he fit into Carrie’s tiny 5 foot frame!

My darling friends knew just the perfect way to celebrate my new decade and threw me an amazing, beautiful party. We spent the evening eating delicious food and drinking delicious wine. They decorated Amy’s backyard so beautifully – it was such a shame that we had to move the party inside because it got dark and stormy and poured for the rest of the night. But the party was still so much fun!

The end of the night I was surprised with my birthday present. All my friends got together along with my family and the people who work at Tangle and surprised me with a new cruiser bike. I LOVE it – the color is exactly what I would have picked. I will definitely be spending a lot of time riding!

This birthday was the first in 15 years that I haven’t spent with Jim. Where I maybe should have felt a hole by his absence, instead I felt so loved and so full. So complete. I am so completely blessed to have friends and family who care about me. I was so spoiled on my birthday – I’m abundantly thankful.

Last weekend Jim and I ran out to Doug Jones’ sawmill and picked out a piece of wood for my weekend project. I’d been hearing about Doug Jones for some time now and was really interested to meet him. He was exactly what I’d pictured him to be with neat white hair and teeth, flannel shirt and jeans. He spoke slowly with a deliberate drawl, in a smokey, gravely voice, warn from years of smoking. It was like meeting a cowboy from way back when.

So I spent Saturday and Sunday, sanding and polishing and my old piece of wood turned into my new bench. The legs were salvaged from an old coffee table I found at the Salvation Army.

Instructions: Readymade mag Feb/Mar 2010
Wood beam: $10
Legs: $2
Paste wax: $7

Sunday, I took a break from sanding and helped Jim set up the kids new trampoline. Eden has been relentlessly begging for a trampoline. Jim was adamantly against it, but she finally wore him down and he agreed to pay for half if she could save up the other half. I think he didn’t think she could do it, but in less time than you’d think she had amassed $150 and we had to go to Sams to buy the giant, bouncing monstrosity. Our backyard isn’t that big and since we already have the swingset, it’s being overtaken by kid stuff. (We start out parenthood so idealistically, thinking that our kids aren’t going to mess up our design style, and then one day, we wake up and our lives are filled with brightly colored plastic crap that makes casino-like noises… such is the life…)

I think I will always remember the moment that the trampoline was finished and we all climbed in for the first time, hysterically giggling and bouncing to our hearts content.

Today, as I wrote the date on Eden’s book check out card at school I thought of where I was 6 years ago at that very moment. I looked around the room at all the children moving around in a flurry of activity and giggles, realizing that all these tiny lives hadn’t even come into existence 6 years ago.

I remember my friend Sarah’s words about the day:

“It was later that I was really moved by all the children that were conceived on September 11. I really saw it as an act of great defiance towards the people who hate us so much. We will move forward with our lives by creating life through countless acts of love.”

(Take some time to read Sarah’s perspective of the day. Her view and her thoughts about me and my approaching child continue to touch me.)

Ok, bloglines (who should be paying me for this endorsement!) is a web based application that allows the user to subscribe to different RSS feeds (like blog feeds, news feeds, etc.) From your personal bloglines page, you can see when each feed you subscribe too has been updated, and either read it directly on your bloglines page, or click to go to the website. The only thing you can’t do directly in bloglines, is comment on a blog post.

It has saved me a lot of time, because usually I’d go through all the blogs I read and only half of them would be updated. It takes me way less time to read blogs now, so I actually do it a lot more. And there you have it.

In completely different news, we got to see our 6 month old niece for the first time on Tuesday. Jim’s oldest sister is caring for her while the babys mom is in the hospital. She is such a sweet, happy baby. It was really great to be able to see and hold her. There’s so much more that I’d like to say, but it’s probably not wise to post such things on the internet. Just if there’s any extra prayers any of you want to throw towards Jim’s family, it would be greatly appreciated. And at least I can rest easy in the fact that I know right now, my little niece is safe.

The fiesta was a huge hit. There were 53 people in our house, including kids. I have to start by saying how thankful I am that it wasn’t too cold outside so all the kids could be out of the house. That was very fortunate for my house.

Here’s photographic proof that Elaine and Anya were there.

We ate some really, really yummy food. Tacos with all kinds of fillings, shredded beef, ground beef, shredded chicken, bell peppers and onions.. YUM! All the kids spend the evening terrorizing our back yard, while the adults kept watch on the back porch. Those without children enjoyed their evening in the house. As the night progressed, people slowly trickled out, the kids slowly trickled in and things started to wind down.

While I had such a great time, I have to say the best part of the night was when my friends Melissa and Sarah stayed to help me and Elaine clean up. I can’t say how much that meant to me!

View the slide show of the whole party.

I had so much fun with Elaine, she’s really, really great. And I thought that her blog is a really good extension of who she is. You know she’s taller in real life than she seems on the internet?

Here’s Jim with Baby Anya, she wasn’t a big Jim fan (but she liked me!) and this was the first time that he held her that she didn’t burst into tears.

Sunday, Eden and I took Elaine and Anya to Ouray. Ouray is one of the coolest little towns in Colorado and boasts a great little hot springs pool.

Eden and Anya were really excited to start swimming.

Isn’t it beautiful?

Overall it was a really great weekend. I’m so grateful that I’ve had the opportunity to meet an amazing person over the internet. I’m thankful for all of you, I can’t say all the ways these relationships I’ve developed have impacted my life.

And now I think I’m going to sleep for the next week straight.

We picked up our car from the shop yesterday. It was really sad to give Jim’s dad’s van back to him. As much as I resist the idea of driving around a minivan (I’m only 24! I should be driving some cool European hatch back.), it is SO nice for taking the kids around town. Like a night and day difference between a minivan and our little Honda Civic.

But we gave the van back and picked up the Honda. And we got very good news! It didn’t end up being the clutch, it was the axle after all. We saved $450.00. Thank God. My dad was relieved too, cause he was starting to doubt his diagnostic abilities. I’m just relieved that all my hard work at the yarn store this month isn’t going to go towards the stupid car.

Tonight Jim and I are going to celebrate our 6th anniversary (which is actually Sunday.) My friend Melissa was so sweet to offer to take the kids for us all night tonight. I can’t believe that it’s been six years. But in some ways, I can’t really remember my life before being married. I was really young when I decided to get married, not even 18 years old, but I knew then that it was the right decision. I’ve spent the last six years knowing that my 17 year old self knew what she was doing. I can only see God’s hand on my life, and I am more grateful than words can say.