I would like to set some criteria for letting someone cut in front of me while driving. Really, before allowing someone in, I’d like to sit down for a short interview with them.

I need to know if they will sit for 5 seconds or more at a green light before deciding to finally move. I can only have quick movers in front of me. None of this putting the car in neutral to alleviate the need to keep ones foot on the clutch. When they finally realize that the light is green they start to rev the engine and realize that it’s in neutral. They then have to take the time to put it into first gear before being able to move. By this time the light is yellow. I can have none of this! (Sadly I am married to someone like this.)

I also need to be assured that they won’t be talking on their cell phone any of the driving in front of me time. I can have no cell phone talking!

I may also have to take a quick survey of their vehicle. Do they have annoying bumper stickers? Do their brake and turn signals work? I need proper warning if they will be slamming on their brakes. Do they have a ridiculously loud sub woofer? I cannot have someone?s stupid bass interfering with the music I am listening to.

Size does matter. If they are a gigantic land yacht, there is no way. I must be able to see over them from my little Honda Civic.

Finally and most importantly, I need to determine whether they are capable of turning on and off their turn signal. Nothing is worse than someone who switches lanes with out signaling. Alternately, just as bad, is someone who leaves their signal on. How can you not hear the little click, click, click? Honestly!

After having met all these requirements, I will allow you to cut in front of me. Unless of course you’re a semi and you just force your way in, using your size to be a bully and not caring if my family is in the car that you almost squished!