This past week has been a lot better. I wouldn’t say that the kids have been easier to deal with, but I think I’m enjoying them a lot more. Eden has been SO funny. Last night we were at Target and I was letting her look at toys so I could get a better idea of what she wants for her birthday. I’ve been planning for awhile now to get her a Cabbage Patch Kid, so I let her look at which one she would like. She dismissed them and every other toy I showed her, “That’s cool mom, I want a Barbie.” Jim started showing her other toys and she just told him, “Daddy, I need a Barbie.” I explained to her that she needs to wait until she’s bigger to have a Barbie (there’s no reason to jump ahead of things, she’s only going to be 3) and she seemed to be ok with it. It’s amazing what television advertising can do to kids.

Honor has started saying a lot more in the last day. He says Papa, Cheese, Please, Juice and Daisy (the dog). It makes it easier to make some progress with him. I actually feel like I’m finally getting through to him.

She’s going to be 3 in two weeks and this as all the hair she has. I’m starting to worry that she’s got a hair growing disease!

And for your viewing pleasure, Honor’s dinner last night:

I just have to say that I just moved the piano all by myself across the room. I need to say this because my husband is failing to show the correct level of enthusiasm for my feat of strength. It’s a damn heavy piano.

And the sad, SAD things. Our tivo died. We’ve had it for a month. A replacement was supposed to be here today and, darn it UPS, it’s not. If I miss another episode of Alias, I’m going to lose it. This is Alias we’re talking about. Hmmm. Maybe I’ll just stay home from Youth Group so I won’t miss it…..

And the most saddest thing of all. Perhaps the saddest thing in the ENTIRE WORLD…my hair stylist moved to ARIZONA. I’m going to die. If it was closer than ARIZONA, I’d drive to her. But that is like two whole states away. I just can’t believe she would do this to me. If I would have known that the last good hair cut I got was going to be my LAST GOOD HAIRCUT, I would have savored it more. I would have video taped it, so I could enjoy it for all eternity. My poor, poor hair. It’s SO doomed. I need to take pictures of myself now because it’s all down hill from here. I will never look this cute again. How could she do this to me??

Finally, I finished my herringbone scarf. I just have to say that I love size 35US needles.

Notice my hair. *snif, snif*

A few things Honor is starting to do: He now says “uh-oh” and “up”, along with “dog” (and the barking noise for cat or dog), “kitty” and “hot”. And still a lot of “eh, eh” when he wants something. The last few days he’s been dragging a blanket out of his room and laying down on the floor and covering himself up. He lays there for about, oh, half a second, before he tries to roll over and then gets all tangled up in the blanket and freaks out because he things something is trying to keep him from moving. (Speaking of blanket Eden pronounces it “blan-quit” and pillow “piddow”. Cute.)

He’s really interested in climbing up to the table and pouring out the whole entire salt shaker. I can’t count how many times the floor has been swept and still salt is sticking to my bare feet. He also really enjoys the light switch. And now that he has discovered that he could move the dining room chairs around, he has open access to the light switches.

About half the time, he will sit on the floor to eat his snack. I consider this a great accomplishment. Any time this child will hold still, it is AMAZING. Truly amazing.

Eden has taken to pretending that Honor is either a monster or a dinosaur or on the rare occasion, both. She runs from him yelling, “The MONSTER, the MONSTER.” He enjoys it because she allows him to tackle her. Which he does about any time he feels like it. But she’s tough, and I figure for all the mauling she did to him him in his younger days, she deserves it.

And his favorite toys. Umm, yeah, we already went over that, the salt, a blanket, the light switch and of course his old stand by, the toilet. This boy doesn’t play with toys. I’ve been trying to get him to take some quite time each day in his play pen. Only for about 10 or 15 minutes or so, but OH MY LORD, he does not like it. He yells the whole time. It’s almost easier on me to clean up the mess than hear him yell.

He’s also started to make this face. He thrusts out his jaw and sets his teeth. Like, “Go ahead and try me. I won’t do it.” Very cunning, this little punk.

I finished all the squares for the scarf swap this weekend. I see that I got the same idea as Nadia and made cabled squares. Here are a few of mine.

Baby cables:

Basic 6×6 cable:

8×10 cable:

I think cabling is really fun. I’ve been thinking about trying to make this purse, just because cabling is so fun. But the style is totally not me, so I have to figure out who would like the purse or how to alter it to my style.

Margaret and Nicole Cabled Clutch

Sometimes I feel like there is so much that I’d like to make, but so little time.

Today, after getting back from our bike ride (yep, in January it is nice enough to go on a bike ride, ahhh, the joys of living in Colorado) I was lounging on the couch when Eden was looking at the clock collection. She pointed to the number four and said, “mom, that’s 4″. I asked her, “Who told you that?” And she said, “Dora.”

I guess all those countless days I’ve had “backpack, backpack” stuck in my head have been worth it. She is one sharp kiddo.

I also wanted to thank you all for your kind and encouraging comments. They’ve really meant SO much to me. I can’t say how much I enjoy this website and the “community” that you’ve all made it into. I count it as one of the great things in my life.

spoken to the mean lady at the hospital and every mean person thereafter.

“GET A HAT FOR YOUR MOUTH CRAP BAG!!”

It’s been a tough week. A judgmental week. I posted last week what a hard time I was having with Honor. Which he quickly proved by making us go to the hospital. Well, nothing has really changed. Things just kind of suck. It’s hard to talk about things on my website because well, people read my website. But if I can’t say what I feel on my website, where can I say it? I need to have at least one place where I can really be myself, I need to say what I feel.

I pretty much always feel like I’m a crappy mom. There are things that I don’t do that I wish I would. I’d really like to teach Eden to recognize her letters. I really want to teach Honor more sign language. I want to be a better housekeeper, I want to be more organized and able to help more with the business. I wish I wouldn’t get so frustrated with these kids all the time too.

So feeling like I’m doing a rotten job is not helped by other peoples criticism and unwanted “advice”. I don’t know why I have a hard time with things that other people can do easily. But I do. It just makes it SO HARD to constantly have people point it out. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t leave trails of candy leading to the toilet so Honor will go play in it. And although my house is usually messy, we don’t live in a slum. I’m trying, really I am, I’m not doing great, but telling me so (or emailing me so) doesn’t help anything. It’s hard enough doing this without feeling like the whole world thinks I’m doing a bad job of it.

I don’t understand why, after I already admitted that I am having a hard time. certain people will go and kick me while I’m down. I don’t need to be told what I already know. I already know it. I don’t need the judgmental eye of the superior looking down on me. I’m doing a good enough job of judging myself.

Last night after youth group, some of the “sponsors” wanted to go out. This is usually something that we NEVER get to do, because our children don’t do well after 9pm. But then we realized that we’ve got an untapped resource. A teenager living at home whose curfew is 9:30. What have we been thinking all this time??? So, for the first time in what seems like forever, we went out with friends at late hours on a week night.

It felt like we were visiting a past life. It was really, truly strange. I almost felt like a kid who was sneaking out after curfew. And even though it wasn’t the funnest thing we’ve ever done, it was SO NICE to have a break! One of the hardest things about becoming a parent is that you loose all sense of self. I’ve become so dedicated to my children, that I’ve totally lost who I was before they were here. It’s nice that I’m starting to regain some of that. I think that is why last night was so enjoyable.

I’ve finished my mittens! And I’ve discovered the power of blocking. When reading the word mittens, you must pronounce it in your head the way I say it. Enunciate every syllable. Mi-tt-en-s.

I know that everyone says that blocking makes things nice, but good night! it makes them SOOO nice. Amazing. I think that the wool/silk blend of the yarn helps too. I just want to wear my mittens all day long. They’re so comfy! And they match my hat and scarf that I made awhile back.