Overdose
I just got back from the ER. Before you start to worry, everyone’s ok. Today, in true Honor fashion, Honor and I spent 4 hours in the ER. For the ONE MINUTE that I went into the bedroom, Honor managed to unzip my purse, get into my container of Ibuprofen and eat them all. I’m estimating that he ate close to 1600 – 2000 mg of Ibuprofen. I wasn’t sure what to do, it seems that I always overreact about these things, so I called Jim who told me to take him to the hospital. Luckily Jen had slept in and was still not at school therefore able to watch Eden.
Honor and I rushed to the hospital, me in yesterdays tee and jeans, Jim’s hat, dress shoes and mascara smeared underneath my eyes. Honor in white jammys that he had managed to spill orange juice on the butt (don’t ask me how), and socks. Now lets talk about our hospitals parking. We have this fantastic hospital here in Grand Junction, it has won all these awards and is ranked really high, but there is NO where to park. What am I supposed to do when my son breaks into my purse and takes all the Ibuprofen and I can’t park anywhere? So I just made my own parking space on the side of the road, I mean, what do they expect me to do?
We arrived at the ER where the great wait began. They really should call it the Waiting Room, not the Emergency Room. He was seen quickly by a nurse and then the doctor saw him probably half an hour later. By then Jim had shown up (having had to park a block away.) The doctor determined that Honor should be ok, but he wanted him to drink some charcoal and stay there for 4 hours under observation. FUN! Jim decided that I would be ok (ha!) and decided to get back to work.
The nurse that brought Honors charcoal must not have children because she mixed the stuff with Coke. What person in their right mind gives a 1 year old boy caffeine? I decided not to say anything, because I didn’t want to wait for her to make new stuff. I don’t know if you’ve ever had to drink charcoal, but the stuff looks disgusting. I wasn’t brave enough to try it. I managed to get about one third of it down him, but let me tell you, that room will never be the same. Honor, a straw and black goo liquid are not a good combination. I forgot to check if some got on the ceiling, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it made it all the way up there. By that point we had at least two more hours of waiting and the caffeine was starting to take effect. The child is bad enough with out caffeine!
I asked the nurse to get Honor some lunch, it was noon and the bottomless pit is always easier to handle when full. We didn’t get his lunch until 10 minutes before the doctor let us go (about 1:30pm). Wanna take a guess at how fantastic my afternoon was. corralling a hungry, drugged boy in a teeny tiny room? I’ve been sufficiently punished for leaving my purse at Honor height. Although, if he really wanted to get it, I know he can find a way. Remember, he is a professional.
Here is the cherry on top of my wonderful day: As we were (finally) leaving the hospital, a woman looked us up and down and told me “That baby should be wearing a hat.” It was 50 degrees out, I was feeling hot in my coat. I hate that I never think of responses until it it too late. To that woman I wish I would have said, “It’s too bad you’re not his mother.”
Do you hear me mean woman??? It’s too bad you’re not his mother and you could have spent 4 hours with him flinging charcoal/coke all over the teeny tiny room, only to leave and smother him with a too warm hat!
So, we’re all fine. Honor is sleeping now. And I am trying to prepare myself for the onslaught that will ensue when he wakes up. We really do need to get that boy a cage.
