I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the lessons I’ve learned. I think the real life lessons – the one’s that sear themselves into our core, that we will never forget – are learned under distress. These are the lessons that are forced upon us in situations we would never choose to place ourselves in. But I think this is exactly why we walk through fire and come out thankful – we are forced to grow. This is why I am thankful for the pain I’ve been through – I am not the person I used to be and that is SUCH a good thing.

Yesterday I wondered to my friend HOW exactly it was that I lived through the last three years. Now that I’m through them, I wonder how I made it that long hoping and wishing and praying and holding on? That was valuable time, but I am so glad I’m through it.

I learned patience. I learned how to hope and what faith really is – after so many years of being confused about it. I learned about who I am; I know myself when I never did before. I discovered that God is, indeed, real. And I learned about love.

Love is not a feeling. It might begin like one, but love, real love, doesn’t start until after the feeling leaves. You really love someone when you make a choice to love them. Loving someone is choosing to extend yourself for them. And loving can be really, really hard. Maybe the hardest thing you will ever do. Love is work – but it is the most fulfilling and worthwhile work you could do. There are not different kinds of love, just different faces to the same coin. When you do the work of loving someone – choosing every morning when you wake up that you will love them – your own heart is healed in ways you could never imagine. Even though you are emptying yourself to love, the process of doing it fills you back up.

Falling in love is magical. But the real stuff starts when things get gritty, when you see someone at their worst and you choose to love them anyway. Loving is giving someone the power to hurt you. It is very risky and it is worth the risk.

I’ve been hurt and I’ve been abandoned – someone didn’t choose to love me when the feelings disappeared – but I still believe wholeheartedly in love. I still choose to love. It’s love that healed me.