when the world falls down on your head
Yesterday was an awful day. Our teenager called to tell me that she thought she should move out of our house. When I pressed the issue, I found out that her mom had signed her out of school. She dropped out of school. Since I didn’t want to have the whole conversation on the phone, I told her to come home so we could talk about it. Then I hung up and freaked out. What was I going to do? I tried to get ahold of Jim, but I knew that he had a meeting scheduled for that time of day. So I called Josh, the youth pastor at our church. He said that he’d come over and help me talk to her.
The hardest thing about teenagers is getting to the heart of what their problem is. I think she, especially, has a hard time talking to us because she’s afraid of being vulnerable. Every person in her life has abandoned her and I think she’s just tired of getting hurt. I’m not sure that’s the total reason why she dropped out of school, but I know part of it is a test of our steadfastness. Our conversation with Josh was cut short because she was very angry and insulting. I can only take so much and after a particularly mean insult, I got up and walked away. I know that she was just trying to be mean, but it did really hurt.
But it all boils down to the fact that we’re NOT going to give up on her. I think she wants us to, but we won’t. It would certainly be easier and we really considered just being done, but I don’t believe God brought her here for it to end this way. So Jim called her and had her come down to the office. He talked her into homschooling via correspondence. She also has to come work for him a few hours a day at the office.
So things ended up working out, but it’s all a matter of what she’s willing to do. We can’t force her to succeed, but we’re going to do everything but force her, to ensure that she does succeed.
Category: daily 9 comments »
March 3rd, 2005 at 9:44 am
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))
March 3rd, 2005 at 10:18 am
hey, i have started reading blogs these last few months, and have enjoyed yours. i live not too far from grand junction, in breckenridge, colorado. i live here with my husband, but we’re hoping to move to france… that’s really cool to me that you have invited this teenage girl to be a part of your family, and i do think that God has blessed her with you. it’s weird writing to you, and not even knowing you, but i just thought i’d say hello and that your blog today was meaningful to me. i like to cook also and have started to knit dishcloths lately…
March 3rd, 2005 at 10:47 am
Sounds like you have been taking the right approach with your teenager. It’s never easy, even when young people have been loved consistently throughout their lives. Hang in there with the kindness, gentleness, and steadfastness. Sounds like she really needs someone to count one.
March 3rd, 2005 at 11:02 am
Stay strong, you are right in the fact that she really needs people in her life who CARE (you guys) and who are COMMITTED to her (you guys). Your good influence is going to go a long way in her life, I’m sure of it. Keep it up.
March 3rd, 2005 at 11:15 am
Being a teen SUCKS EGGS, if I remember correctly and I think that I do. You’re right on track; keep with it and give her the unconditional love she so desperately needs. And if she rejects you, LOVE HER MORE. Seriously, it’s the only way. My thoughts are with you!
March 3rd, 2005 at 3:29 pm
big hugs allison and i hope that everything works out for the best. i bow down to you and jim. i could never raise a teenager at our age! one day, she will look back and realize just how lucky she was to have you guys in her life.
March 3rd, 2005 at 7:13 pm
Yes..big hugs to you. I have a teenager step daughter that we have custody of and she is trouble and totally lost right now..her mother is a drug addict and has taken no participation in her life in 2 years..since we had to take custody from her a few years ago we have had massive behavior problems out of her..she is now 12 and things are slowy getting better but it is sooo hard on everyone else in our family to watch this happen. I feel your pain and def. don’t give up on her. Hang in there!
March 4th, 2005 at 8:09 pm
I have to say, I have tons of respect for you guys. I was a terrible teenager, who never would have made it without people like you. I found when I became part of a family of people who loved and supported each other that I had no idea how to function in it…as much as I wanted what they had, I didn’t know how to do it. And I was too shy, embarrassed and stubborn to ask…I also did my best to push everyone away, since I figured once they figured out I wasn’t good enough, they’d leave me too…
Hang in there!
March 5th, 2005 at 10:50 pm
Good for you, standing strong with your teenage girl. I didn’t want my mom to care about me when I was a teenage girl, either, but I am so glad she did. Someday she will appreciate it. And, if there is anyway to make her see that the two things in life that one should NOT screw up are education and one’s credit rating, you will have succeeded in keeping her from much future frustration. I don’t envy you, but I admire your work with her.