Freaking Out (with update)
I haven’t worn a wedding ring since I was pregnant with Eden. My hands have never slimmed back down to the way they were pre pregnancy. With our tax return, I was able to order a new ring. So I designed a ring that would utilize the small sapphires and diamonds from my original ring. (The part of my ring with the stones crapped out on me shortly after the wedding. The jeweler did a poor job or applying the stones to my band. So I was just wearing a plain band.)
I’m going today, after over a month of waiting, to pick up my ring. I’m freaking out because the jeweler called yesterday to tell me he didn’t set the stones like I wanted them. I wanted them set flush into the band so that it looks like they were just dropped into it. He put a small ring of white gold around each stone, so it’s not totally flush. At this point I don’t really even want to go pick it up. My appointment is at 11am and I’ll update you with how the ring turns out. Until then, I’ll pace the floor in worried anticipation.
UPDATE:
Well, it’s not exactly what I wanted, but I think I like it. It’s going to take a while for me to really decide. The pictures are horrible, I couldn’t get a good photo with my camera, but I hope this will at least give you some sort of idea.
I’ll try to get some better pictures later.
There’s a diamond on the top and the bottom and four sapphires on either side.
When asking for ideas in designing my ring, a very wise woman wrote this to me.
“My husband and I picked my engagement ring together, from an antique store in the French Quarter of New Orleans. It was totally NOT what I thought I wanted: I thought I wanted a white gold or platinum ring with an elaborate antique setting. And instead I chose a simple yellow-gold band with a solitaire. It’s a “mine-cut” stone, meaning it was cut at the mine, roughly, to determine the grade of the stone and how much it could be sold for. I’ll tell you a secret: the diamond in my engagement ring has a big old flaw right in the middle of it that you can see if you look carefully through a loupe. But apparently someone had it set for some sentimental reason, and some woman wore it for alot of years — you can tell by the wear on the band. We had the setting checked and the (can’t think of the term) bendy-over-points renewed so I wouldn’t lose the stone.But we got it. You know why? For me it’s metaphorical of my life: there’s this big old ugly reality that’s close to the heart of my history, and yet the pressure of the world made this beautiful stone around it. And it’s not been “perfected” with a perfectly round cut. And it’s beautiful. It catches the light, and makes me happy. To the naked eye, it’s just a beautiful solitaire. And this incredible man who makes me so happy wanted to get me exactly what I wanted.
My point in telling you this? You just might want to consider a design that’s less than perfectly symmetrical, less than “perfect” in some way. Because that’s how life is, that’s how marriage is, and seeing your wedding band can remind you of it. When I have the presence of mind to notice my engagement ring when I’m in “a bad space,” it’s a good reminder of life’s messiness, and yet life’s wonder.”
I’m thinking of this as I think about this ring. Life isn’t always what you want, but that doesn’t make it any less beautiful, right?
Category: daily 8 comments »
June 8th, 2005 at 8:38 am
I bet it will be fine, but worst case senario … you tell him that you really appreciate the extra work and excellent craftsmanship – but it really isn’t your style. It might take a little longer, but you’d still get what you wanted.
Best case, it really is a *tiny* ring around the stones and you’ll love it.
This is a happy thing. Don’t let the thought of what it might look like ruin this for you!
-Waiting until you get back for the news :)
June 8th, 2005 at 9:26 am
I am nervous for you! I’ll give you a call later thhis afternoon to see how things went–now that I wont be at a computer daily) Hope all goes well!
June 8th, 2005 at 9:54 am
Yikes… If you don’t like it, just tell him it’s not what you asked for and get yourjewels and money back. After all, it’s your wedding ring, it should be EXACTLY what you want. But you may like it more… I can’t wait to see it tomorrow.
June 8th, 2005 at 10:20 am
I hope you like it… but if you don’t, take the above commenters advice! I still haven’t put my wedding band back on… I hated having to take it off in the last weeks of my pregnancy.
June 8th, 2005 at 11:35 am
Honey! I love it. Of course it is how *you* feel about it that counts. I don’t think the little bands are too noticeable. They look like they are just there to help secure the stones.
-See I told you I’d be anxiously awaiting the update :)
June 8th, 2005 at 12:34 pm
I think it’s a good-looking ring. Very artsy, different, and very Allison. The small rings of white gold make it unique in a way that no other setting could. And since you know me, you know that I mean that “artsy” and “different” are a good thing, not just words to say something nice without lying. Hee hee
June 8th, 2005 at 1:03 pm
That woman’s story is great, and I think I like the ring too – it’s very unique. You’re right, life isn’t always what you wanted/expected, but it is wonderful all the same.
I’m feeling chatty so I’ll tell you my engagement ring story: I don’t have an engagement ring. Me and my husband went out and shopped for them. I wanted a pearl set in white gold. We looked around at them just to show DH what I liked and didn’t like, so when the time came for him to get one he would chose well.
But before that time ever came around we found out we were having a baby! So we went ahead and got married and didn’t bother with an engagement ring, just wedding bands.
That is one of the reasons I chose Pearl as my daughter’s middle name:)
Maybe someday I will get my pearl ring, for now we have more important things to spend money on, and my daughter is as perfect an engagement gift from my husband as I could ask for:)
June 8th, 2005 at 3:44 pm
Wow, I’m flattered to be quoted! And even more flattered that you think of me as a wise woman! Wow.
And your ring? It’s up to you, of course. You could accept the difference as being “one of those things” or you could stand your ground and get what you ordered, and not pay for anything less.
My story wasn’t about accepting something less than what I wanted, it was about discovering that the Universe gave me something different and metaphorically better (though literally worse!) than what I’d envisioned.
So that’s the question for you to answer: does this different design feel better to you in some way? Does it make your heart warm with the difference from what you’d envisioned, or will you always see it as “wrong?” Because if you see it as “wrong,” then you should definitely make the jeweler make it right.
And either way, the symbolism, the marriage, the happiness … those are what matter most.