This is my fifteenth annual year in review. To read past reviews click here.

If I were to describe 2019 in one word it would be growth or possibly college.

I struggle with what to say about the past year and instead keep finding myself with clarity about how I am leaving it. It was certainly not the year I had imagined 365 days ago. 2019 met us with unexpected trials that, at times, seemed insurmountable. But in trial and pain is where we find our best teacher and in those moments growth comes exponentially rather than linearly. And even though much of the year was hard, it was also so full of joy. I know that my perspective slipped a few times, but I was able to regain it by using the tools I’ve amassed over these 38 years. In knowing myself more, I’m able to see the times that I need to send myself to a quiet moment in the early hours of the morning with a journal, a cup of coffee and a resolve to find the light.

I’ve now been the COO of Proximity for a little over one year. What I’ve learned about operating a tech startup is that there is no manual for such things. We have to blaze the way and figure it out as we go and resolve that as we learn, we will make better mistakes tomorrow.  I’m learning how to keep our collective gaze firmly on our goals, that work is supposed to be hard, and that 24 hours is about all the radio silence I can expect to have from this growing company. I often remind myself that not many people get this kind of opportunity or this view of the world and I am constantly grateful for what I’m learning.

Generally, when people have caused me harm it has been because of their own brokenness and without intent. But towards the end of this year, we had the unique experience of a cruel, vicious and intentional undoing of something precious to us. I’m not even sure what else to say about it other than this is my resolve: I will not let hate make me hate, I have a deep believe that karma knows what it is doing, and there is beautiful redemption in even the worst nightmares.

Our children are almost grown and we’ve enjoyed them immensely this year. There is a special delight in watching (not-so) small humans step into the fullness of who they are.  I feel so grateful for the people Eden and Honor are becoming and also so proud. It is amazing to watch evolution in action—the generation after us building upon the lessons we learned to be more evolved, more emotionally intelligent and full of wisdom.

This year was about college. While Eden was searching for her perfect fit, FACTORY was moving from our downtown location to the campus of CMU. It’s been fun viewing this whole other world, imagining what life will be like for Eden in 9 short months and at the same time experiencing a bit of campus life ourselves.

Me

• Spoke on three panels about my work and being a woman in business.
• Hiked quite a bit – mostly with Brooke. We celebrated her 40th birthday on the Oh Be Joyful trail in Crested Butte.
• Traveled for work to Dallas, Chicago, and Denver to train one of our enterprise customers.
• Took some of the team to Denver to tour coworking spaces.
• Created food and hats and quilts and pickles and jam and tinctures and hot sauce (with my cousin!).
• Turned 38.
• Traveled to Casper, WY with my cousin to visit our grandmother.
• Was nominated for the GenXYZ awards and is in the top 50 finalists.
• Participated in the Christmas Crawl and sold hats and napkins.

Eden

• Performed in Chicago
• Got a tattoo
• Turned 17
• Had a summer internship at Proximity
• Finished her junior year and started her senior year
• Got accepted to many colleges and chose CSU.
• Baked a lot.
• Made it into several honor choirs.
• In a series of necessary life lessons that I’ve been working on with Eden and her friend, learned to make jam, lasagne, a hat, pie crust, and candy cane cookies.

Honor

• Got his permit
• Became a marketing and dev intern at Proximity. (Gave himself the title of Head Dev Intern.)
• Finished his freshman year and started his sophomore year.
• Starred in The Odd Couple
• Started competing in League
• Turned 16
• Spent quite a bit of time learning to cook.
• Hosted many, many game nights with his friends.

Josh

• Produced the 2nd TedXGJ event.
• Built a beautiful patio in our back yard.
• Had the most challenging year of his life.
• Built a beautiful wall in the new Factory location.
• Started rock climbing.

We

• Celebrated five years of marriage
• Started meal prepping every Sunday so we could eat healthy food throughout the week.
• Escaped to Denver a few times for some much-needed downtime.
• Snuck in a few extra days in Chicago so I could see Josh’s old stomping grounds.
• Visited Canyonlands national park.
• Hosted two Proximity dev retreats at our house.
• Survived the moth invasion of 2019.
• Celebrated the 4th of July with some of our Proximity pals in Ouray.
• Camped in Crested Butte for Brooke’s 40th.
• Joined a wine club.
• Took the kids to the college fair in Aspen.
• Toured three front range colleges with the kids.
• Hosted our annual Proximity Pool Party, the Pumpkin carving party, Pie for Breakfast™, and The Christmas party.

I leave 2019 knowing more of who I am. I’m resolved to take from life what I want from it, to work a little less, stress a lot less and keep my gaze firmly on gratitude and joy.

Note: I wrote this in 2019 but it’s remained unpublished until now. I’m not exactly sure why I never hit publish, but here it is!