Day three of the No More “I can’t” Crusade
I’ve been having the most terrible time with Eden lately. She’s been in this phase where she thinks she can’t do anything for herself. We’re talking things that I know she can do for herself, like getting dressed. So, in a moment of desperation I tried bribery. I told her that if she could be big girl and do things for herself for a whole week, that I’d buy her a new groovy girl. She said that she wanted the groovy girl car and I said fine (little did I know the car cost FORTY dollars, eeesh!)
I printed her out a calendar and taped a picture of the car on it and she gets a star every day that she can be a big girl. This means no significant fits or that she straightens up after a gentle reminding about her car. So far it’s working fantastically, she’s got two stars on her calendar. Motivation is a powerful thing. And mommy has learned that she shouldn’t promise toys until she realizes how much they cost!
Category: Eden 11 comments »
January 13th, 2006 at 12:03 pm
We did something similar with Ta’ but we stuck with a new barbie and such. Leave it to a girl to pick out the most expensive!!!
January 13th, 2006 at 12:06 pm
Welcome to the real parenting world!!! LOL just kidding – it does work somtimes and I think that it teachs them to work for what they want. She will learn to make good decisions even if there is’nt a “bribe” at the end. It is all about a parents attitude, she see’s how you make good decisions and she will do the same. You do a great job!!!!
January 13th, 2006 at 3:10 pm
This is how they learn how the real world works. If we whine and throw things at our boss, we’re not gonna get paid. Sometimes, this lesson is worth applying… just not so much they think they deserve gifts for brushing their teeth without throwing a fit!!
January 13th, 2006 at 5:27 pm
Hey, ain’t nothin wrong with bribery!
BTW- Everyone LOVES my bag. IT’s the best. Thanks for your help.
January 13th, 2006 at 5:27 pm
Elaine has a very good point, on all accounts! I think you can find a good balance with the type of rewards. We try not to reward with food, it just seems like a setup for disaster. And when my son’s AWESOME progress report (what happened to the term report card? was there anything really wrong with that???) came back from school yesterday, we decided to do a special activity together, instead of just buying him something. We’ll be going to the circus next week. He knows he’s got something special coming, but he has no clue what!
January 13th, 2006 at 6:33 pm
I work in group home for developmentally disabled men and we use “reinforcement schedules” much like the one you’ve made. Our behavioural therapists always make sure that we understand the difference between a “bribe” and a “reinforcer.” A bribe is given before the desired behaviour, while a reinforcer has to be earned. So… all that to say, I think your car calendar is an awesome idea! You’re doing exactly what the professionals would suggest. :) Good luck!
January 13th, 2006 at 8:40 pm
Jasmine-thanks for clearing up the diff between a bribe and reinforcement-that’s good to know…makes me feel a little better as a parent.
The “reinforcement method” worked really well for my sister and I today as we carted Drew around Pier 1-he was absolutely an angel…so nice!
January 14th, 2006 at 11:21 am
40 bucks???? Does the car fly??
January 14th, 2006 at 2:48 pm
wow thats one expensive toy. But not a bad tactic kinda lame but my husband and I have a simarlar system we get points for things we do. The points count as 1 dollar to cut our rediculous spending we can only spend the dollars we earn. So far we have gone over a bit but its helped and made me feel a bit more motvated to clean up.
January 14th, 2006 at 10:39 pm
I think your “reinforcement schedule” is a find idea.
January 16th, 2006 at 2:30 am
You’ve trained that girl well! PICK THE EXPENSIVE THINGS! LOL That’s too funny!