the vague-ness award
Gosh, I have so much stuffed inside my brain lately that I can hardly think. There are many things teetering on the brink of change and I feel a little directionless. Well, actually, I feel really directionless. As a teenager, I hated being told what to do, but now that some big decisions are looming over me, I’m starting to think there is something to be said for being told what to do.
As I’ve sought out advice, many people have asked me, “Have you prayed about it.” I wish that it were as easy as just praying about it. Praying (and praying and praying) doesn’t mean that you’ll get an answer. I think some things God leaves in your court; he gave me a brain, and I think he expects me to use it.
Life is so rarely smooth sailing. How many times do we sit and think, “my life is perfect right now”? But, I guess, life is about change. And change isn’t bad, it’s just the unknown, and it can be hard to plow ahead when you don’t know where you’re going.
(I apologize for the lack of details, I just can’t go into it right now, but not to worry, it’s nothing “bad.”)
Category: gah! 5 comments »
June 7th, 2006 at 8:49 am
I tend to think of the whole praying thing as a suggestion to meditate. I think sitting quietly with yourself really can lead you to the answer, but with all these kids running around, it can be hard to find that space. But yeah, I’m thinking there is a reason we have a brain and God (or who/what ever you believe in) isn’t going to just hand us the answers… most things are better appreciated when we work a little to come to the answer.
Thinking about you while you wallow in vagueness! Hope it all becomes clear to you soon!
June 7th, 2006 at 10:51 am
Aaah. The ever-present holding pattern…
Just know that you have a friend who is praying for you too, and if God decides to hand me any answers for you- I’ll be sure to tell you (what to do.)…hee hee… ; )
June 7th, 2006 at 12:57 pm
oh, gosh, I am so with you right now. I’m in a really awful place right now with my relationship falling apart and I AM praying about it, but it’s so hard to LISTEN. and when I do listen I am always sure that it’s just my heart, or my brain, and not necessarily God talking. so difficult!
but … good “luck” to you!
June 7th, 2006 at 12:59 pm
Ah, yes. God’s Plan. I wonder sometimes when He’s going to tell me what my path in life is so I can start to follow it! I know when I have made a good decision when I feel huge relief, though.
June 8th, 2006 at 5:44 am
Right now I feel like I’m going through something similair to what you describe… my thoughts are with you-
I am learning lately that the challenges in my life which seem like huge obstacles-I
know in my heart that I can overcome them but the process of how I will do it worries me- but that’s not what I really need to worry about. usually its never how I expect it to work out but somehow it just does. My gentle suggestion if I can offer it is to
say in your heart and mind when youI clear a space for prayer- “I am praying to see my life clearly
and I pray for the best possible outcome.” Pray even to make the impossible possible- have unshakable faith in yourself that know matter what you do- you can handle it. you can! Pray for irrefutable proof about your choice – is it in alignement with your values? Pray to uncover your mission in life. Do not be defeted by your obstacles and doubts. You possess a wonderful nature within with unlimited potential. Dream BIg!
sometimes I also ask for a dream before I go to bed to get some insight into what is happening in my heart. to clarify my truest desire in the situation. archetypal images – look em up in dream dictionary.
Sending you prayers and energy that you uncover your mission and change your doubt into confidence and happiness.
may you be in harmony with the universe. nam myo ho renge kyo
Mary